A Reframe

On my birthday I was over at "It starts with" and I was touched by Sarah Peck's post.
She speaks about just Showing up.  Just show up.    I think I can do that.

And then I read further down and she was quotes a line from the Everest Blog: If You're Told no, Do it Anyway.  "There are a hundred ways to not be happy"  Which got me thinking.

I am really good at not being happy.  Really good.  I think I fake happiness pretty well.  
I then got his idea.  Why don't I write a  list of all the things I do well at not being happy.  Then I can check them off my list as done!  Check!  Did that!  Now when I do those actions I find myself saying, I already did this, checked it off my list, time to do something else!  

Here is my list:  All the Things I've Done to Master My Unhappiness 

- Eat too much sugar
- Eat when other emotions are up and want to be expressed
- Compare myself to others
- Fear that others and family members will try to make me feel "less than"  
- Make myself feel "less than" by thinking what people might say
- Waste time watching boring tv
- Wasting time surfing the web when there are other things to get done
- Letting my plants go unwatered
- Complain about having to work
- Letting obligations go beyond their deadlines
- Sleeping too much
- Staying up late and past the time I want to go to sleep
- Going unshowered for a day
- Faked happiness
- Letting the actions of others, that I have no control over, get me down
- "Why can't they just get how it's supposed to go..."
- Letting my creativity sit "over there" untouched
- Putting off exercise
- Being afraid I'll offend others if my light shines "too" bright
- Using other's bad moods to influence my mood
- Letting indecision stop me
- Sitting around feeling bad about the things I should be doing
- Going off the transformation.com plan that I know works when I do it!
- Stopping myself from having quality time with myself
- Being afraid of quiet time
- Being fearful of the outcome
- Fear of failure
- Rolling my eyes when practicing gratitude
- Forgetting to put Disco on when I'm in these moods.  (turns me right around!)
- Letting momentary relief out weigh the joy that is beyond the discomfort

DONE!  CHECK!  MASTERED THAT!
And can it be, what is that I feel, a sensation of giddy-ness?  Some lightness in my heart?  A smile on my face?  
Oh I could be onto something!