On my birthday I was over at "It starts with" and I was touched by Sarah Peck's post.
She speaks about just Showing up. Just show up. I think I can do that.
And then I read further down and she was quotes a line from the Everest Blog: If You're Told no, Do it Anyway. "There are a hundred ways to not be happy" Which got me thinking.
I am really good at not being happy. Really good. I think I fake happiness pretty well.
I then got his idea. Why don't I write a list of all the things I do well at not being happy. Then I can check them off my list as done! Check! Did that! Now when I do those actions I find myself saying, I already did this, checked it off my list, time to do something else!
Here is my list: All the Things I've Done to Master My Unhappiness
- Eat too much sugar
- Eat when other emotions are up and want to be expressed
- Compare myself to others
- Fear that others and family members will try to make me feel "less than"
- Make myself feel "less than" by thinking what people might say
- Waste time watching boring tv
- Wasting time surfing the web when there are other things to get done
- Letting my plants go unwatered
- Complain about having to work
- Letting obligations go beyond their deadlines
- Sleeping too much
- Staying up late and past the time I want to go to sleep
- Going unshowered for a day
- Faked happiness
- Letting the actions of others, that I have no control over, get me down
- "Why can't they just get how it's supposed to go..."
- Letting my creativity sit "over there" untouched
- Putting off exercise
- Being afraid I'll offend others if my light shines "too" bright
- Using other's bad moods to influence my mood
- Letting indecision stop me
- Sitting around feeling bad about the things I should be doing
- Going off the transformation.com plan that I know works when I do it!
- Stopping myself from having quality time with myself
- Being afraid of quiet time
- Being fearful of the outcome
- Fear of failure
- Rolling my eyes when practicing gratitude
- Forgetting to put Disco on when I'm in these moods. (turns me right around!)
- Letting momentary relief out weigh the joy that is beyond the discomfort
DONE! CHECK! MASTERED THAT!
And can it be, what is that I feel, a sensation of giddy-ness? Some lightness in my heart? A smile on my face?
Oh I could be onto something!
You are SO onto something - best post ever for me!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeletealso I would like to add to my questions of Are you serious if i may?
Are you best at mastering UNHAPPINESS
or
Happiness?
Yes please do!! Interesting questions isn't it?
ReplyDeleteGreat list. Love it and so identify. Good strategy to tick it off as done!
ReplyDeleteLove this Andrea - I would love to use it with some of my coaching clients if you're so inclined to let me (of course I would link back to your blog). We use reframing and mindset a lot in the coaching process and I love the way you have gone about reframing (shall I say a..backwards?) Brilliant!
ReplyDeleteOh, be happy!!!
ReplyDeleteI am the master of NOT being happy - at least not to the CORE. I often think there is actually something inherently inherently wrong with me.
And I want to post about it, but I feel like all my posts revolve around such negativity and sadness (because that is where I am at right now) - that I avert even posting anything of substance - from the heart. Which is completely what this class is not about, right?
Hi Terry! Sure! LInk me up! I hope it can be of help!
ReplyDeleteAnd S- It's just where you are right now, and you're writing yourself out of it. So am I. And I read your posts... there is some joy in there. :) You're doing it!! Come on! Let's master our Not being happy so we can cross it off our lists and move onto the happiness!! :)
What an interesting list and a useful practice. Working through this and meeting it daily can only have a positive outcome.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant, Andrea. Well, I suppose since you've got the Master List for Unhappiness, the reverse list might come more easily? I'm giddy too after reading your post, perhaps from over-identifying. :) Put on that Disco, girl!
ReplyDelete